NuffnangX

Sunday, November 16, 2003

cry... cry... cry...

assalamualaikum...

even though hari ni saturday.. but still we have to attend class.. bukan half day.. bukan sampai pukul 5 tapi sampai pukul 10.30pm... kesian kitorang kan? but i don't think it's a big thing pun dah skarang nih... dah nak abis pun program nih...

and today... something bad happened actually... very bad... and i cried... yup... i cried.. a lot!!... tak tau nak start camner... tapi actually kes ni terbawak bawak from yesterday actually... dia tak puas hati ngan aku coz dari smalam aku buat my so called sour face... with no intention actually... bukan sebab marah kat dia or what... but i don't feel like talking... and i prefer to stay silent.... tapi dia tak puas hati.. kononnya aku marah kat dia... then... today.... as i mentioned before... something bad happened... i don't know why must he ask me that question... "ras... do you have somebody else??.." payah aku nak jawab... or should i say... malas aku nak jawab... sejahat mana skali pun aku nih... tak pernah aku terfikir nak cari jantan lain.... sampai cam tu skali dia fikir aku nih... well.. yup... i admit... aku suka cari pasal ngan dia... why??? there's only one reason for that... i want his attention... tu je... coz as he and everybody know... lepas aku bangun dari tidur... mood aku ok balik... so... tak ke mana pun la moody aku ni pun....

but apa yang dia tulis kat blog dia cukup buat aku sedih... i cried... and lagi teruk... masa aku baca blog tu... aku kat business center... but then... aku dah tak kisah pun dah masa tu... lantak la apa orang nak kata pun masa tu... tak sangka... sampai camtu skali dia marahkan aku... sampai bengkak mata aku ni menangis... patut nak kena interview malam ni pun aku mintak tangguh to tomorrow...

well... aku sendiri tak tau nak kata apa.... i'm sad... still sad... but then... i love this relationship... i love him no matter what.. and i really hope he knows it... tapi kalau dia dah tak kisah pun pasal the relationship... what more can i do?? apologize? puas dah aku mintak maaf... and puas dah aku explain kat dia... just imagine... i took 1 1/2 hour to write him the mail... and hopefully... he'll understand...

to you... my dear love... once again... i'm sorry... you know how much i love you... and you know how much i need you... so... up to you now... buat lah yang terbaik... as what you always said...

and to you my dear friend... thanks for being there for me... really appreciate it...

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