Friday, September 19, 2008

19th Ramadhan : Am I?


I will never forget what happened today. Bukan x boleh lupa so that I can 'ungkit' in the future. But it will be marked in the calendar as a 'black day'. I'm the type yg can easily forget about everything. Yes, I mean everything. I can just forgive and forget. No matter how painful it is.

Aku bleh tolerate with everything. U can marah, merajuk, membebel, make fun of me or wateva. Tapi as I always remind people around me, tolong JANGAN OVER. Jangan sampai aku naik angin. And that's what happened today. When I tried to pujuk and clarify things tapi org disebelah sana x bleh nak terima, i get pissed off. Maybe to me it's juz a small thing but to the other party it's not. Ntah la. And when that happened, aku rasa hopeless. Rasa macam 'nak jadi apa pun jadi la'. Ah, xmo fikir dah.

Hari ni jugak someone said something bad about me. Menyamakan aku setaraf dengan 'org lain'. I juz can't accept it. I know, mungkin itu tidak disengajakan. Even berkali2 org itu meminta maaf dan cuba nak explain, I think it's too late already. The damage has been done. Saya tak lah sekejam mana. The moment that particular person apologize, saya dah pun memaafkannya. You are forgiven dear. It juz that I can't act as if nothing happen after that. I need time to be ok. Not that difficult kan? Juz give me time to calm down. To pujuk diri sendiri. Insyaallah, I'll be ok after that. And dun worry dear, things will be back to normal again.

I dun want to elaborate further about what happened. Benda dah jadi pun. Let us juz forget about it. The hardest part is when u have to act 'normal' to the others sedangkan hati dan perasaan ko x tenteram.

To that particular someone, *u know who u are* As what I've told you. You are forgiven and I never hate you. That is for sure. Dun worry. I'm not the type yg senang2 nak benci org. You know who I hate most rite? Juz give me time to be ok. I promise you, it wont be long. Insyaallah. And if you're wondering, the feeling towards you is still the same.

Till then, assalamualaikum...

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